The Theremin Commandments

(as handed down to Intissar, in a dream, after bartending a double shift, stopping at Arby’s, and falling asleep on the sofa while watching “The Omega Man”.)

1. Thou shalt have no other hobbies before me.
(I just don’t think there is time!  For me, at least.)

2. Thou shalt not cast any graven theremin images, nor bow down before them. (Certain things ‘give us the illusion’ that we are theremining and actually perfecting our craft…but we are not.  Example: doing this silly web page is NOT practicing, nor playing the theremin.)

3. Thou shalt not take the theremin’s name in vain.
(as when “cursing” your theremin when you are having a bad run of playing days…“That theremin!”  Your theremin is your comfortable friend!)

4. Take one day off from theremin playing each week.
(Sit at a piano and work on pitch, sing your songs instead of playing them, watch theremin videos, bake cookies, or visit an art museum..…)

5. Honor the ‘mothers and fathers’ of theremin invention.
(Know a little about the history of the theremin, and include that in your theremin conversations and performances.)

6. Thou shalt not kill.
(Thou shalt not kill your theremin creations-no matter how lame, nor shall you kill other’s creations-no matter how ‘unartful’. Let yours and others crappy playing “live” and continue on for hope that it shall evolve, or others may learn something from it.)

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
 (Maybe it’s just the plain old, “good idea” it is--since affairs would take valuable practice time away from your instrument.)
(Soldier, you’ll be too busy “waging a campaign” on two fronts!)

8. Thou shalt not steal.
(Don’t make it an end goal to be a clone. You’ll just short change yourself in the long run. Don’t illegally burn off other’s CD’s, videos.)

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
(Stop lying. When asked, give HONEST answers to the riddle, “Well, what did you think of my/his/hers/their  theremin playing?”  Honesty elevates us all.)

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors RCA or EtherVox theremin, nor any theremin ‘stuff’.  
(Good idea to not ‘covet’ thy neighbors talents and skills, either. It takes the ‘useful’ energy away from your learning task at hand.)                    

Lettuce Spray.   Amen.