You Might Be A Theremin Junkie If:

Sign reads: "Sorry.  Grim refrigerator of a theremin junkie."

• You have conversationally approached any deity concerning the theremin.  Example:  "Now I lay me down to sleep.  I pray to you, on key I'll keep."

• You execute hand motions when there is no theremin before you.  Example:  'pretend' theremining with music at places of worship (Mr. P. Haze) or opera performances (Intissar).

• Typing both 'theremin' and 'theramin' in Ebay search field so as to not miss ANY theremin products for sale.

• Attaching "Priority One" to starting and maintaining your personal database of musical works/movies containing any theremin music.

• Keeping a list of your "personal favorite" theremins that OTHER people own.
  (Mr. R!  Maybe there is 'a home' or treatment center on the horizon for us?)

• Your spouse leaves your messages on top of your theremin.

• You set up the theremin and amplifier in the bathroom to get away from your cats, and then get annoyed that the carpet is too thick and you are swaying too much (but you are not going into the garage!)

• When you choose your movie rentals and purchases based solely on theremin content.

• Your wife refers to Clara Rockmore as "your girl friend".

• You actually get angry at the dog for wagging his tail in your magnetic field.

• You're on a first name basis with the entire staff at Big Briar.

• You wonder why you're the only one that knows how to spell "theremin" correctly.

• Someone mentions "Saint Clara", and you know exactly of whom you are speaking, and you think that's normal.

• You hear the name "Moog" and don't think  'synthesizer'.

• You take it personally when your magnetic field shifts, and have to retune.

• You buy or not buy clothes and shoes based on  theremin potential.
  Example: “Can I play in these shoes?”  “Will the sleeves get in my way?”  “How will this look theremining?

• Your spouse lumbers out of the bedroom at 2 am looking like a mad cross between Charles Manson and Phyllis Diller to find you playing “Three Blind Mice” for the 80^th time.”
  Your reply:  “Look Honey, “Three Blind Mice!!”

• You take odd jobs or a second job for theremin stuff.

• Definite and permanent carpet indentations behind your instrument.
  (Bonus points for more than three pairs of shoes in this area.)

• The thought of a 2 hour movie has you stressed. “I could be theremining right now!”

• Someone asks you directions, and you point with your thumb and forefinger together.

• Attempting to play with ANY other body part other than your right or left hand.

• Forgetting that most people don’t know what a theremin is.

• Example: “I know I am late for this appointment, but I was playing with my theremin…….”

• Playing fearlessly during any severe lighting storm…. next to the window.

• Having ANY dream or nightmare including the theremin.

• Inviting ANY delivery man into your house to hear your theremin.

• A prominent theremin set up in living room.
  (Bonus points for “decorating and landscaping” around it.)

• Ten bonus points for any and each photograph of your theremin.

• Twenty bonus points if you have mailed them to friends and family.
  (Seek help if you carry a wallet size in your wallet or purse)

• Nude theremining. (Because getting dressed just eats into playing time.)

• Theremining first thing in the morning before you’ve seen to your other addictions.

• Commenting frequently when hearing music: “That would be a good theremin song.”

• Watching an old movie with theremin music and getting overly excited about it.

• Purchasing anything such as rings or manicures for the hands “Because this will look nice with the theremin!”

• Your cat is over the trauma, and given in to just looking bored when you play.

• You keep an ashtray on top of the unit.
  (Bonus points if it has more than 6 butts in it.)

Are you a theremin junkie?  Send me your symptoms.